


What I'm Trying to Say Is...

by OpalizedBone



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Awkward Flirting, Developing Relationship, Dorks in Love, F/F, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Flirting, Muteness, Self-Indulgent, i love them, they're really bad at flirting okay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-15
Packaged: 2019-08-24 02:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16631354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpalizedBone/pseuds/OpalizedBone
Summary: A sudden, fierce emotion sparked in Zilyana’s chest, and she stared into Leliana’s eyes, hoping to convey it.'You never have to feel afraid with me.'~a re-telling of how Zilyana Mahariel and Leliana got together <3 (possibly to be continued to include their first time?)





	What I'm Trying to Say Is...

**Author's Note:**

> my mahariel is mute! she communicates through sign language. this fic is a bit self-indulgent but it's sweet so i thought other people might enjoy it too! <3

Zilyana Mahariel had felt different her entire life; she was mute, and on top of that, a Dalish elf. At least in her clan, she felt more like she belonged; they were all elves, of course, and when it became clear she couldn’t speak, her clan had learned sign language to communicate with her. Everything changed when she and Tamlen went into that damn cave.

 

Ever since that day, she’d been overlooked, ignored. Sometimes, it could be used to her advantage--no one expected the tiny, silent elf was actually a trained warrior until she was slicing through them with her sword. Other times, she was left frustrated, unable to clearly communicate what she needed to in a world full of speaking humans. 

 

She was lucky, she supposed, that sign language was as common as it was in Thedas, but most people only knew the basics. Beyond that, she was forced to figure out alternative ways to communicate. Joining the Wardens meant Zilyana had to either resign herself to teaching everyone better sign, or get along with vague gestured and frustrated grunts. More often than not, she found herself relying on her actions instead of her signs, choosing to instead lead by example.

 

Meeting Leliana was like a breath of fresh air. Duncan had known a bit more sign that most people, but when he died she was left with just Alistair, Morrigan, and the dog. Alistair had known more sign than she had originally given him credit for, but Morrigan knew next to nothing. Luckily, she was a quick study, and by the time they made it to Lothering, she knew enough to understand most of what Zilyana was saying, with Alistair’s help.

 

Leliana, however, was nearly fluent in sign. Why a chantry sister knew so much sign was a mystery she wouldn’t solve until much later--apparently, Marjolene had taught Leliana, claiming it was important knowledge for a bard to know. If there were two bards working the in the same area, they could communicate without tipping off their targets.

 

Zilyana was drawn to Leliana immediately. At first, she thought it was simply because she was the first person that she’d been able to talk to since leaving her clan, but as the months began to pass, she realized it was something more.

 

The first time she’s tried to flirt with Leliana, it had gone rather awkwardly. They were in camp, and Zilyana had sidled up next to her by the fire.  

 

_ What would someone like you be doing in Lothering's chantry?  _ Zilyana signed, and Leliana had laughed.

 

"What is meant by "someone like me?"" she asked.

 

_ You know, a beautiful charming woman like yourself,  _ Zilyana signed, smiling.

 

"And there are no beautiful, charming women in the cloisters, you think? Oh, you would be wrong,” Leliana smirked knowingly. "There were many lovely young initiates in the Lothering cloister--all of them chaste and virtuous. Ah, it added to their mystique."

 

Zilyana had made a questioning face then, and Leliana continued.

 

"Because then... then they were forbidden, and forbidden fruit is the sweeter, no?"

 

_ What about your fruit? Is it forbidden?  _ Zilyana hadn’t meant to ask it like that, so forward, not giving Leliana a chance to gracefully say no, but her heart was in her throat and her palms were sweating and the signs had flown from her hands of their own accord.

 

But Leliana had simply laughed again and said, “No, my fruit isn’t forbidden.”

 

Zilyana was floored that her horrible attempt at flirting had worked.

 

~

 

"I enjoy the nights at camp,” Leliana murmured, turning towards her. “The night always seem more peaceful to me. Safer.”

 

_ I know what you mean,  _ Zilyana signed with a smile.

 

“I feel the night grants us a reprieve from the troubles of the day. Silly, isn't it?” Leliana laughed. “The darkspawn never sleep, and they lurk in the shadows."

 

_ It is not silly to seek moments to lay down your burdens,  _ Zilyana replied, hoping to comfort Leliana.

 

"I enjoy those nights when we stand guard together, talking to pass the time in those small hours.” Leliana smiled, glancing at Zilyana’s hands with a small blush. “Well, I'll talk and you listen. Sometimes, I succumb and fall asleep, and wake to find you still watchful. And I know you're watching out for me."

 

A sudden, fierce emotion sparked in Zilyana’s chest, and she stared into Leliana’s eyes, hoping to convey it. 

 

_ You never have to feel afraid with me. _

 

Leliana smiled, nervously it seemed, and began fidgeting with her hands, glancing away. A blush was slowly seeping across her cheeks, staining the freckled ivory pink.

 

"What I am trying to say, is that I trust you. I am comfortable around you. I know that you will be there when I need you. You are our leader, and my friend, and sometimes, I think that maybe we could be more than that... Maker... look at me, stumbling over my words like an ill-educated peasant girl. Some bard I am..."

 

Confused, Zilyana paused, her hands frozen in the air. Zilyana was naive about humans, and unsure of her place in their world, but even she had thought their budding relationship obvious. She’d even talked about it with Alistair, of all people!

 

_ We are more than friends,  _ Zilyana finally signed, confusion obvious on her face.  _ I thought that was obvious. _

 

And Leliana had stammered and blushed, stumbling over her words in a way that was so unlike her that Zilyana couldn’t help but smile. 

 

“You... you felt the same way and didn't do me the courtesy of informing me? Y-you let me say all those things! Why couldn't you have said them first? Oh, you!... oh, how very awkward!..."

 

_ You still like me, right?  _ Zilyana asked, half-teasing, half-serious.

 

"Oh, why am I being such a baby about this?” Leliana sighed, shaking her head with a grin. “I must be a sight, spilling my guts."

 

There was a moment then, of quiet tension. They stared at each other, hearts in their throats, and although she knew Alistair was just across the campfire and Zevran was barely ten feet behind her, she suddenly didn’t know how else to show her feelings. It was just like her, really, to act without thinking it through, to capture Leliana’s face and lean in to kiss her. How else could she make it more obvious?

 

At first, Leliana stiffened against her, and Zilyana thought she’d taken it too far. She began to withdraw, one hand already coming up to her chest to sign  _ sorry,  _ when Leliana had slipped her arms around her back and melted against her. Her lips were so warm and smooth against Zilyana’s chapped ones, and she wondered idly if Leliana used some sort of balm, perhaps.

 

When they finally parted, a small part of her was dimly aware of Wynne shooing everyone else away, leaving them alone by the fire. Leliana looked pleasantly stunned, a smile curving her lips and a flush still faintly visible across the bridge of her nose.

 

“Well, I...I guess that settles it, then,” Leliana murmured, her voice hushed and breathy. Zilyana nodded, her own cheeks flaming, and leaned against her side.

 

They sat near each other, fingers entwined, and began the first watch together.

 


End file.
